This past week, leading into Thanksgiving, I found myself in full reflection mode. You know that cozy, heart-tugging time of year when everyone suddenly remembers they’re thankful? The posts start rolling in, the turkey gets prepped, and we all talk about gratitude like it’s a seasonal sport.

But here’s the thing that hit me this year: are we really living in gratitude, or are we just visiting it once a year?

I’ve been thinking about that a lot — how often we wait for the “big” things to feel thankful for. The promotion, the new house, the life milestone. But what about the small stuff? The coffee that hits just right, the laugh you can’t stop replaying, the friend who texts “home safe?” after a night out. Those moments might be tiny, but they’re the ones that make up the good stuff.

And honestly? I’ve been guilty of waiting for magic to happen. Waiting for that sparkle moment, that movie-scene feeling where everything clicks and you just know life is working out. But what I’ve realized — and maybe you’ve felt this too — is that magic doesn’t just fall into your lap.

You are the magic.

You are the catalyst.

Every single day, we get to choose how we show up. Who we surround ourselves with. What we say yes to. The kind of energy we bring into a room. Those choices, tiny as they seem, are how we build our sparkle — and how we pass a little of it on to someone else.

It’s so easy to get stuck on the one bad thing that happens in a day. Maybe it’s a rude email, a traffic jam, or someone cutting you off in the grocery line with their cart angled like they’re defending the Stanley Cup. But for every one of those moments, there are five — maybe ten — good ones waiting to be noticed. We just have to pay attention.

Last week, I wrote an article about reconnecting with my childhood best friend, Scotia. After it went live, her dazzling mom Mika sent me a message that stopped me dead in my tracks. She wrote:

“Live unapologetically, be authentic, choose your words wisely, be kind, and f*ck them all.”

Now, depending on your sensibilities, you might either fist-pump the air or gasp at that last part. But for me? It was everything. It was bold, it was raw, and it was a reminder that we are the authors of our own stories.

Because sometimes, “f*ck them all” doesn’t mean be reckless or cold-hearted — it means don’t live for the approval of others. It means live for yourself, be your full authentic self, and let the rest fall away.

And as someone who likes to believe there’s a little bit of divine rhythm in our lives, I also think our souls are on a path — one we can’t always see, but can definitely feel. Some days it’s messy, confusing, or downright chaotic. But if you lean in, trust the process (and maybe the universe), you’ll find yourself exactly where you’re meant to be… hopefully with a glass of wine in hand and good people by your side.

That’s what gratitude really is — not just listing what you’re thankful for, but living like you’re thankful. Showing up to your own life with curiosity and joy. Saying yes to the little moments. Laughing a bit louder. Loving a bit harder.

So here’s my wee message to you:

Live in gratitude. Live glass-half-full. Squeeze every last drop out of life. And as my Mika said, “fck them all.”*

Live for yourself. Make your joy. Create your sparkle.

Because life is too short to wait for the magic — you’re the one who makes it. And if you’re lucky, your light just might spark something beautiful in someone else, too.